A balanced diet means a slice of pizza in each hand
Upon cleaning out the darkest depths of my grandmother’s fridge, I discovered food that is older than me. This expired in February… 1987. This can saw Reaganomics. This can saw The Challenger explode. It saw the fall of the Soviet Union. It was around when Tupac got shot. Both times. This can is older than The Simpsons. #bruh
Shove your finger in my ear and whisper sweet nothings to me please
you’ve been hit by
you’ve been struck by
a smooth criminal
I don’t get this
i got a pet parrot today
A man just walked past me and said “excuse me, but you look very nice tonight darlin” I said thank you and he said you’re welcome and walked off. And that is how you compliment a woman without harassing them
No, that is still unsolicited, and thus, harassment. No amount of “darlins” is gonna make me not want to punch your ass for coming on to me without provocation.
UR SO STUPID
the comic is killing me
u are a garden and sadly i’m like 12 gardens or a greenhouse. i’m better
"the weather seems ruff today doesnt it Spot haha?"
"dont patronize me Greg"